You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You work out of a Hotel?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
