I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Randomize
