Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
