I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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