I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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