ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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