yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
