im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
