Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
