i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
