He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
