oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
