I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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