..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
