Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
