I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize