shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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