low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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