he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
