apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
