Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
