Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
