I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
