Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
