There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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