I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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