I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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