You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
