Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
