Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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