so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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