so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Everyone says I win the strip club
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
