Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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