Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
