did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
