I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
