you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
