UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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