Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize