Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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