you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
