so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
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