My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
