this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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