Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Randomize