I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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