I need help removing her.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
