So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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