Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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