if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
