I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
