you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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