he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
