a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
