well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
