I'm really into asian looking animals
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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