that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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