i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My feet surprised me
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
