i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just want to make out with him forever
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
